Old Friends
by SupernaturalGeek
Summary: Part 3 of the Jean & Toby series, although can be read alone. Dean and Sam visit some old friends after the events in 'All Hell Breaks Loose Pt2'.
1. Chapter 1

Sam was so absorbed in what he was reading that when his cell phone rang he actually jumped. Dean, who was busy cleaning their weapons, looked up and smirked. Sam glared at him, daring him to comment, as he fumbled in his pocket for the phone.

He glanced at the caller ID and a surprised smile lit up his face.

"Hello." he answered and the smile widened as he heard the voice on the other end.

"Yeah, it's good to hear from you too. You're right, it has been too long. No, we're both fine. Yes, he is. That would be lovely but we're not that close right now. Well, I guess we could – let me ask him."

Dean who had been listening to the one sided conversation with open curiosity raised an eyebrow questioningly as Sam put his hand over the phone for a second.

"It's Jean. She and Toby want to know if we can come visit them." he said, looking hopeful.

Dean frowned. Not that he wasn't pleased to hear from the old couple, but they really weren't that near to their house and they didn't exactly have time to take a break after what had just happened. On the other hand it would be great to see them and he felt an actual pang at the thought of the warm welcome he knew they'd get and the chance to experience that little bit of homeliness, just for a while.

He looked at Sam and saw how much his brother really wanted to see them. He also saw how tired he looked after only a few weeks of driving himself crazy looking for a way out of Dean's deal. Maybe a couple of days wouldn't hurt.

Of course the fact he might not get a chance to see them again before his time was up didn't escape his notice either.

"Ok, I guess we can stop by. It'll take us about a day to get down there." he said, working out the route in his head.

Sam practically bounced as he went back to Jean.

"Yeah, we can make it. Should take us about a day to get there so we'll see you tomorrow? Ok. Yeah, me too. We will. Bye." he said.

He closed the phone and looked excitedly at Dean.

"Thanks, man. It really will be good to see them, won't it?"

Dean shook his head at Sam's childlike enthusiasm but he had to agree.

"Yeah, it will. Let me just finish this and we can hit the road. Might as well make a start. If you don't mind catching a few hours sleep in the car we could probably be there by lunchtime." he said.

Sam grimaced at the idea of trying to sleep in the Impala but reluctantly agreed. It wouldn't be the first time they'd slept in her and probably not the last either.

Wanting to use every spare minute these days researching a way to save his brother, Sam went back to the laptop while he waited for Dean to finish with the weapons.

It was a little after 2 o'clock the next day when Dean pulled off the road and down the dirt track that lead to Toby and Jean's house. They'd only be here twice before and yet already it felt familiar and welcoming to them. Dean still marvelled at how quickly they formed a connection with the couple and wondered briefly if there had been some cosmic force at work that first night they'd run out of a gas just down the road.

Even though he didn't really believe in that stuff.

Jean must have been listening for the engine because Dean had barely turned it off before the door opened and she came out, wiping her hands on a cloth and with a beaming smile on her face.

Dean felt an actual lump form in his throat and wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Ever since Sam's attack – he refused to use the 'D' word, even in his head – he felt a little like he was on a rollercoaster. One minute he was fine, the next minute he was feeling ridiculously emotional.

It was starting to really annoy him. At this rate Sam wouldn't be the only emo-Winchester in the family.

His thoughts were interrupted by Jean who, having crossed the distance between them, reached up and put her arms round him, hugging him tightly.

"It is so good to see you boys." she said and Dean smiled as he hugged her back. He was gradually getting more comfortable with the contact Jean always initiated so readily and he wondered if this was what it felt like to have grandparents.

Having squeezed the life out of Dean she moved onto Sam. His gaze was suspiciously bright and as she stepped back Jean looked at him appraisingly. She could sense something wasn't quite right and was suddenly glad that something had told her to phone the Winchesters the day before.

Knowing that with these boys they'd talk about it only when they were ready, she acted like she hadn't noticed a thing.

"Well, don't just stand there – come on in. You know where your room is." she said, turning back to the house and making her way up the steps to the porch.

Dean felt a rush of warmth at the way she said 'your room' and when he glanced at Sam the sappy look on his brother's face told him he felt it too. Nudging Sam with his shoulder as he went past, Dean opened the trunk and took out the bags. Sam grabbed his and followed Jean as Dean locked the car before joining them. They went upstairs and put the bags in 'their' room, then went back down to find Jean again.

She was in the kitchen as usual and Dean sniffed the air appreciatively as he smelt fresh coffee and home baking.

Jean turned round from the old fashioned stove where she was stirring something in a large pot. She waved a hand at the scrubbed wooden table where 4 places were set and two mugs of steaming coffee were already waiting.

"Sit yourselves down boys – there's coffee right there for you and lunch is nearly ready." she said.

Sam shook his head.

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble.." he began but Jean cut him off before he could finish.

"Now what have I told you before? It's no trouble. Honestly, you two." she said, shaking her head with affectionate exasperation.

Dean whacked Sam lightly on the shoulder as he sat down.

"Now Sammy if Jean wants to cook for us who are we to argue?" he said with a grin, knowing from experience just how good a cook she was.

Sam just rolled his eyes and sat down as well.

Jean smiled, familiar with their banter, and went back to what she was doing.

Dean took a sip of his coffee and sighed happily. As he leant back in the chair, feeling himself relax already, he glanced out of the window.

"Is Toby in town?" he said and Jean shook her head.

"No, he just popped over to help a neighbour of ours. He had a tree come down in the high winds last week. Should be back any minute now though – he's looking forward to seeing the two of you again as well." she said.

As if on cue they heard the sound of Toby's truck pulling up outside. Moments later the back door opened and he stepped in, pushing off his boots and leaving them outside the door. He grinned when he saw them.

"Well, it's about time – we was thinking you boys had forgotten where we lived." he said, his eyes twinkling as he winked to show he was only half serious.

"Now don't you start on them, Toby – I'm sure they've been busy." said Jean, pointing a finger warningly at him.

"Ah, they know I'm only messing – although it has been too long." He said seriously as he made his way over to the table. Both of them stood as they shook his hand and Dean grinned, inclining his head towards Sam.

"Well, we would have been back before but Sam here was afraid of ending up in that apron again." He said dryly and Sam turned to glare at him, whacking him on the arm.

"Hey, at least I'm secure enough not to feel threatened by wearing it." He said indignantly and Dean just laughed, the image of Sam looking like a startled deer when he he'd inadvertently caught him wearing it while helping Jean cook last time springing to mind.

Sam turned back to Toby.

"As you can see he still thinks he's funny." he said and Toby chuckled at both of them.

"Dean, don't tease your brother – he was helping me out when that happened." said Jean, trying to sound serious even though her lips were twitching.

Dean adopted a mock contrite expression.

"Yes, ma'am." he said, but the grin didn't leave his face.

Taking pity on Sam, Toby grabbed a mug and as he poured some coffee for himself he deliberately changed the subject.

"I see she's looking good, Dean." he said, referring to the Impala, and Dean literally puffed up with pride.

"Thanks. She's running like a dream. Course I don't let Sammy drive her much these days, so that's much safer." he said.

Sam kicked him under the table and Dean winced, glaring at him as he rubbed his leg.

With the instincts of a grandmother Jean turned round and raised her eyebrows at them.

"I don't need to come over there, do I boys?" she said and they both looked guilty as they replied "No, ma'am."

As they realised just how much like children they sounded they ended up grinning, Dean shaking his head as he took another sip from his mug.

Toby brought his coffee over and sat down with them, as Jean carried over a wooden cutting board with sliced, fresh bread on it. Next came the huge pot she'd been stirring on stove and both of them felt their stomachs growl as they smelt the enticing aroma. They watched hungrily as Jean ladled generous portions of the chicken and vegetable stew into their bowls. She set them down in front of them and indicated the bread.

"You tuck in now." she said and Dean didn't need telling twice, buttering his slice of bread eagerly and dipping it in the stew. He'd already taken his first bite as Sam was still reaching for the bread and he gave Dean an amused look.

"You'd think he hadn't eaten in a week." he said dryly and Dean looked indignant.

"I just appreciate good food, Sammy. And it doesn't come any better than Jean's." he said, flashing her a grin.

Jean blushed and shook her head, looking pleased with the compliment.

"There's no need to try and get round me, there's plenty more where that came from." she teased and Dean laughed.

There was comfortable silence briefly as they all tucked into the delicious food. Sam marvelled once again at how right it felt to be sitting there with Jean and Toby in the homely kitchen, feeling as if they were part of their family. After everything they'd been through since the last time it was even more poignant and he found himself struggling to swallow suddenly past the lump in his throat.

In tune to his brother's moods as always, Dean noticed the sombre expression and discreetly nudged Sam with his knee. Sam looked at him and Dean raised his eyebrow questioningly. Sam managed a reassuring smile and shook his head slightly. Dean wasn't convinced but with Jean and Toby sat there he couldn't really push it. He made a note to ask Sam about it later.

Despite their discretion the exchange hadn't gone unnoticed by the couple and they exchanged a look of their own. They'd both become inordinately fond of these two young men and last time they'd visited they'd managed to help them work through the difficulties they were having with their Father's death. They both had a feeling something even more difficult was bothering them now and they vowed to try and do what they could to help before they left. It was surprising just how protective they felt of these boys.

Once they'd finished Jean cleared the table, declining the offers of help from both of them, and Toby sat back in his chair, eyeing them speculatively for a moment.

"So where are you headed this time?" he asked and Dean shrugged.

"Just east, really. Might be some work there for us." he said casually.

"You know I don't think we actually covered what it is the two of you do when you were here before. Do you mind me asking?" he said, equally as casually.

Sam looked at Dean quickly, his expression a little panicked. The reason they'd steered clear of it before was that they didn't want to lie to Toby and Jean, not after everything they'd done for them, but now they'd been asked outright there really was no option.

Dean shifted awkwardly, acknowledging Sam's look and trying to think quickly of something to say. Toby watched them and as he leaned forward his expression was serious.

"You know unless you two are serial killers there isn't anything you can say would make you unwelcome here." he said and Jean, who had come back to join them when she heard the conversation turn serious, nodded.

"He's right." she said.

Dean looked at Sam and he could see the question in Sam's eyes. Could they really risk telling them what they actually did? Who they were?

His instinct was to trust the couple, they'd done nothing but take them into their home and their family since the first night they'd met. But this was big. There would be no going back once the words were out there. On the other hand it would make him feel better, to know Sam had somewhere else to go and someone else he could rely on when the time came. As much as his brother refused to acknowledge that the worst might happen, Dean had to consider it. Sam was still his responsibility, just as he'd always been.

He made the decision. Giving Sam a small nod, he watched as his brother cleared his throat nervously and turned back to Toby and Jean.

"Well, we're not serial killers." he said wryly and Jean smiled at his attempt to lighten the moment.

He took a deep breath. There was no going back now.

"We're hunters." he said, and Toby frowned a little.

"Alright. Hunters of what?" he asked and Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he took over from Sam.

"Well, that right there would be the awkward part. We hunt things that are – supernatural. Spirits, demons, poltergeists. The kind of thing most people don't think even exists. It does, and we hunt it." he said, simply.

Both of them watched the couple, trying not to reveal how nervous they were of their reaction. It surprised both of them just how important Jean and Toby's opinion was to them and they desperately hoped they hadn't just ruined things permanently.

Jean studied them intently, seeing only truth in their faces. Toby contemplated their answer before finally nodding.

"Ok." he said and Dean looked at him incredulously.

"That's it? Ok? Most people would be phoning for the men in white coats right now or chasing us out of their house with pitchforks." he said, not quite able to believe the calm reaction.

Toby shrugged. "I been around long enough to know there's more stuff in this world than we rightly know about. And I know you boys wouldn't lie to us, so that's all there is to it." he said simply.

Dean stared at him open mouthed. Sam was no better. They were both literally speechless.

"It sounds like dangerous work." said Jean worriedly and now Dean really did have a lump in his throat. They'd just revealed their biggest secret and Jean's only concern was how dangerous their job was. He blinked and Sam saw how much of an effect Jean's concern was having on his brother and stepped in.

"It can be but our Dad trained us well." he said and Dean managed to nod in agreement.

"So he was in this line of business too?" asked Toby and Sam nodded.

Deciding that they might as well go all the way now, between them they told the couple the whole story. Mary's death, the demon, the years spent travelling the country learning how to hunt. They deliberately left out the bit about Sam being chosen and the whole destiny thing. Dean because he still refused to believe it and Sam because it still made him feel ashamed. They revealed the truth of John's death though and as they came to the events of Cold Oak they both steeled themselves as they haltingly revealed what had happened to Sam and the deal Dean had made.

Jean gasped and her hand flew to her mouth as tears filled her eyes. Toby's expression was grim as he shook his head.

"Oh, Dean!" said Jean, getting up and walking round the table to put her arms round him.

Sam blinked back tears of his own and he saw Dean struggling to keep his composure.

"I don't regret it, Jean. I did what I had to." he said, his voice husky as he implored her to understand.

She did indeed understand. It was impossible not to – her and Toby had seen the bond that existed between these brothers right from day one. But it didn't make it any easier to know that in just 12 short months this young man they'd come to think of as one of their own might no longer be with them.

"It's gonna be ok though – I'm gonna find a way out of this for him." said Sam softly and they could hear the sheer determination in his voice.

Dean managed a shaky smile. "Yeah, I got no worries with College Boy here on the case." he said, trying to lighten things before it all really did get too much.

Sensing their need to get control of their emotions, Jean gave Dean's shoulders one last squeeze and stood up, brushing her eyes with her hand.

"Well if this doesn't call for pie I don't know what does." she said abruptly and Dean snorted.

"Damn straight." he said, giving her an appreciative smile. She managed to smile back and made her way over to the stove. The few moments needed to serve the pie she'd cooked earlier would give her time to compose herself properly.

Toby got up too, grabbing the coffee pot and refilling their mugs. As he filled Dean's he put his hand on his shoulder and left it there for a moment.

Dean looked up at him and smiled softly, appreciating the gesture. It was Toby who'd helped him work through his feelings about John's death last time and he had a feeling they'd be having a conversation about this before they left.

He found himself actually relieved at the chance to talk about the whole thing with someone. He couldn't discuss it with Sam and Bobby had been so mad at him for making the deal. And while he knew that was only because Bobby cared about him, which he appreciated, it meant he couldn't show any hesitation about what he'd done. Not that he regretted it, not for one second, but he had so many conflicting emotions about the whole thing it would be good to talk about it at last.

He also knew Jean would be talking to Sam, and he hoped she'd be able to help his brother deal with this. He hated that what he'd done was hurting Sam so much, and for all his brother's determination he was afraid that in the end there really would be no way out of the deal. And it scared him, how Sam was going to cope when he was gone.

At that moment Jean came back with the pie and sensing that they needed time to recover from the revelations, she and Toby told them everything that had been happening with them. Soon they were laughing at the antics of their grandchildren, commiserating at the damage the local farms had been suffering with the month of high winds that had just come to an end, and talking about normal things as if they hadn't just revealed their entire life story to the couple.

Sam leant back in his chair and groaned.

"I don't think I could eat for a week." he said and Dean nodded.

"I gotta agree with Sammy, there. That was delicious, Jean." he said.

She smiled warmly at both of them.

"Well, I'm glad you boys enjoyed it. Why don't you go in the other room while I clear up here? And don't be thinking about offering to help – I can manage." she said, before they could even say anything.

"Yes, ma'am." said Dean with a grin and he and Sam got up, following Toby into the front room.

They sank into the comfortable chairs, realising for the first time how tired they were. Sam had been burning the midnight oil researching ways out of the deal and Dean had been awake whenever Sam was. He'd literally dragged his brother away from the laptop more than once and it was a testament to their relationship that they hadn't yet come to blows over it. He knew Sam was determined to do this but he didn't want it to be at the expense of his health. Added to that the long drive to get to Jean and Toby's, and the couple of hours sleep in the car, and they were both practically nodding off.

Toby could see how exhausted they were and he smiled fondly to himself as he turned the radio on. As quiet music filled the room Dean could feel his eyes getting heavier. He wanted to apologise to Toby for being such bad company, but he had a feeling that somehow Toby really didn't mind. It wasn't often they got to relax completely, to not have to worry about demons or spirits or law enforcement tracking them down. But here he felt safe and secure, and the quiet breathing beside him told him that Sam must feel the same since he was already asleep. Giving in, he closed his eyes and drifted off himself.

Toby watched as Dean joined Sam in sleep, his head sliding down the back of the couch until it was resting on Sam's shoulder. Sam shifted slightly and moved so that Dean's head was more supported, all without even waking up. Toby shook his head. His own children were close but these two took it to another level. He couldn't imagine how Sam would cope if Dean really was gone in a year's time and he felt a stab of pain himself at the idea. They didn't deserve this, either of them. It was moments like this, hearing how much they'd been through in their short lives and what they were still struggling with, that made him question whether there really was anyone up there watching over them.

He got up quietly and left the room, coming back a few moments later with a blanket which he laid over both of them. Leaving the radio playing quietly in the background he went back into the kitchen. Jean looked up from the sink as he came in and frowned quizzically at him.

"They fell asleep soon as they sat down." he said and she smiled softly.

"I'm not surprised. They look tired out." she said. Toby leant back against the counter as Jean wiped the surfaces down. Finally unable to find anymore jobs to do to distract herself she put the cloth down with a sigh and turned to face her husband. He saw her eyes were full of tears.

Saying nothing he opened his arms and she stepped forward, burying her head in his shoulder as she silently wept. She only allowed herself a few moments before she pulled away, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief and patting her hair back into place. Her gaze when she looked up at Toby was still sad but her composure had returned.

"What are we going to do?" she asked and Toby sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Reckon there's not much we can do. Ain't like you or I know anything about what these boys are facing. Seems to me all we can do is lend a kind ear and a place to come to when it gets rough. Although that's more than I reckon they've had before. I wish we could make this right for them, same as you do, but truth is we can't." he said.

Jean looked unhappy but she knew he was right. It was strange but she really hadn't been all that shocked by what they'd told her. Like Toby, she was aware there were things in the world that couldn't always be explained, and she also believed that Dean and Sam wouldn't lie to them. But her heart ached for what they were going through and just like with her own children and grandchildren she wanted nothing more than to take the pain away for them. It was hard, knowing that she couldn't.

"I suppose you're right. I'm glad I called them yesterday though." she said and Toby nodded.

"Yeah. I don't reckon they're used to calling up to ask for help themselves." he said.

"I think I'll get on with that weeding I was doing earlier. Keep my mind from thinking about all this too much. Those two deserve a rest – we can wake them later." she said.

"Sounds good to me. I need to sharpen some of those tools in the shed so might as well do it now." said Toby.

Jean checked on Dean and Sam quietly before she went out, smiling when she saw how they were sleeping. Closing the door gently behind her she followed Toby outside into the late afternoon sunshine.

It was Sam who woke first. He came to slowly, feeling comfortable and relaxed. When he opened his eyes he blinked a couple of times, not remembering at first where they were. Then he saw a photograph of Jean and Toby with their grandchildren smiling down at them and it came to him. The radio was still playing quietly but the room was empty. He glanced down and realised someone had covered him with a blanket. He also noticed at that point a weight on his left shoulder and he turned his head slightly. He smiled softly when he saw it was Dean resting against him, fast asleep. He kept still for a moment, feeling no real urge to get up and not wanting to wake his brother. It wasn't often they got moments like this and he wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

Looking out of the window he saw the sky was darkening into evening. He looked up at the clock over the mantelpiece and saw it was just after 7 o'clock. He wondered where Jean and Toby were and how they were coping with what they'd revealed earlier. He was touched that they'd believed them without question. That really did mean a lot. He wondered if he'd get the chance to talk to Jean again before they left. She'd really helped him last time, advising him how to approach the difficult subject of John's death with Dean, and her tips had paid off. They'd had their first real discussion about it out on the porch there and Sam knew it had helped both of them come to terms with things a little.

Now he needed advice more than ever. He was still reeling from what Dean had done and he was more afraid of this, of not finding a way out, of letting Dean down, than he ever had been about his whole 'destiny'. As nightmarish as that had been this was worse. Because failure to fix this meant losing his brother, meant condemning him to hell no less, and Sam couldn't even contemplate that without feeling like someone was cutting off his air supply. He actually rested his head against Dean's for a moment, knowing he was safe from bodily harm while his brother was asleep and therefore unaware of the gesture.

Dean as it happened was fully aware of it, as he'd woken up a few minutes after Sam. He too was in no rush to move though and he figured since he could deny all knowledge of the 'moment' his brother was having he might as well go along with for now.

Not that he found it comforting or anything.

This was just for Sam's sake.

He was however possibly never going to live down the fact that he'd somehow ended up asleep on his brother's shoulder.

After a while Sam lifted his head up and shifted very slightly to try and get some feeling back into his left arm. Dean figured he could now give up the pretence and moved his own head.

"Dean?" said Sam as his brother sat up and Dean turned to look at him, rubbing his eyes as he blinked the sleep out of them.

"Who were you expecting?" he said dryly and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I wasn't sure since I'm fairly certain my big brother wouldn't be found sleeping on my shoulder in a million years." he said, equally dryly.

Dean reddened slightly and nudged Sam with his shoulder.

"Shut up, Sammy. It was probably you leaning in my direction in the first place." he said and Sam snorted.

"Uh huh – you keep telling yourself that, Dean. And it's Sam"

Dean stood up and stretched, feeling something in his back pop into place. He felt more rested than he had in ages and it made a nice change not to feel tired for once.

Sam stretched too, rubbing his arm that had gone dead from Dean leaning on it.

"Where do you think Jean and Toby are?" he asked and Dean shrugged.

"Outside maybe?" he said, unable to hear any noise from the kitchen.

He wandered over to the mantelpiece and looked at the photographs with a smile. They looked like a happy family and he felt slightly wistful as he imagined what it must be like to be a part of that.

"You ok?"

He jumped a little, so lost in thought he hadn't noticed Sam coming to stand beside him.

He flashed a quick grin over his shoulder at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Sammy." he said and Sam didn't correct him this time.

Turning away from the photos Dean went into the kitchen, Sam following behind him. It was also empty so he opened the back door. As they stepped out he saw Jean kneeling by a flowerbed about halfway up the garden. The light coming from the shed told them that's probably where Toby was.

Using the unspoken communication thing they did so well, Dean headed towards the shed and Sam walked slowly over to Jean.


	2. Chapter 2

"Need a hand?" said Sam and Jean looked up at him, slightly startled.

"Lord, you made me jump!" she scolded and he looked apologetic.

"Sorry, I'm used to having to move quietly with our line of work." he said with a grin, reflecting how nice it was not to have to hide things for a change.

"I'm sure you do." said Jean, looking worried all over again.

"It's really not that bad." said Sam softly, feeling guilty that they were worrying Jean like this.

She didn't look convinced but patted him on the arm as she stood, appreciating the attempt to make her feel better.

"I think I'm just about done here. Why don't you help me fix us up some tea – I promise I won't make you wear the apron." she said with a devilish grin and Sam laughed.

"Thanks. You know I swear Dean is never gonna let that go. Forty years from now he's gonna be.." Sam stopped, a stricken look appearing on his face as he just realised what he'd said.

Jean saw and felt her stomach clench at the pain in Sam's eyes. Taking hold of his arm firmly but tenderly she literally pulled him along towards the house, knowing that he would want privacy for the conversation they were about to have.

Sam followed almost in a daze and it was only when Jean gently pushed him into a chair in the front room that he realised they were inside. She sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it.

"Come on now. Talk to me." she said gently and Sam was horrified to feel his eyes fill with tears.

"I just don't know how to deal with this. I mean I understand why Dean did it, I'd have done the same if you want the truth, but part of me is still mad at him. How can he not know how important he is to me? How can I think I can just carry on without him, just live my life like nothing happened. I told him, after he admitted he'd made the deal. I asked him what made him think I didn't feel the same way about him that he does about me. And I swear, it's never even occurred to him. I mean, yeah I might have told him once or twice before. When things got bad and I was thinking the worst, and after Dad died when he was feeling so guilty. But it's like it didn't register, any of it. I just want to shake him, you know? But then I want to grab hold of him and never let go. Just the thought of Dean not being here this time next year – I can't even begin to get my head round it. He's my brother, my best friend – he's the only family I have. I can't loose him and I can't bear the thought of what's going to happen to him."

Sam's voice was practically a whisper now, and his voice broke on the final words. Jean reacted instinctively, reaching forward and pulling Sam to her. As he buried his face in her shoulder she felt the way he was shaking and tightened her grip.

"It's alright, Sam. It's ok." she said softly and Sam allowed a few tears to fall. He'd only cried once since Dean had told him, that first night in the bathroom when he'd felt the total and utter terror at what his brother had done kick in. But now in the comfort of Jean's embrace he allowed all his fear and pain to come to the surface.

Dean meanwhile had found Toby in the shed sharpening an axe, the other equipment strewn on the bench testament to his afternoon's work.

"Hey." said Dean and Toby looked up and smiled at him.

"Hey yourself. Enjoy your nap?" he said, sounding amused, and Dean grinned self consciously.

"Yeah, thanks. It was nothing personal you know. We haven't really had much time for sleeping lately."

Toby shook his head. "I'll bet. Well, you know you boys are welcome to stay here as long as you need." he said and Dean smiled.

"We appreciate that. To be honest it feels good to slow down for five minutes. And Sam could do with the rest. He's so determined to find a way out of this deal, I'm just worried he's gonna make himself ill looking for it." said Dean worriedly.

Toby put down the axe and leaned back against the bench.

"Can you blame him? I reckon the idea of what might happen in a year's time is his worst nightmare." he said. Dean sighed and looked at him, his expression a mixture of helplessness and frustration.

"I get that, of course I do. But what am I supposed to do? I can't undo the deal and I wouldn't want to anyway. When he was.." Dean stopped and swallowed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "When he was gone it was worse than I ever thought it could be. He's all I have, Toby. He's my entire family. It's always been just the two of us and I can't live without that. I just can't."

"And neither can Sam." said Toby softly and Dean closed his eyes briefly, knowing the old man was right.

"So what are we supposed to do?" he said, spreading his hands wide in a helpless gesture.

Toby sighed. "Well, first off I reckon you need to understand just how much Sam needs you to believe he can do this. He's not gonna give up on you, just like you wouldn't give up on him. Now you owe it to him not to give up on yourself. I get that you think you can protect him by sacrificing yourself but you gotta understand if you do that you'll be hurting him worse than anything else ever could." he said.

Dean swallowed, feeling deep inside that Toby was speaking the truth but struggling to cope with the idea of changing habits that went back 22 years.

"Sometimes if you believe in something badly enough then it can happen, no matter how impossible it seems. And I'll tell you something else. I'll be damned if that boy doesn't just find that way out for you – I swear I've never seen anyone more determined to do something in my whole life. Believe in Sam and believe in yourself and the rest you can handle. That's what I reckon." he said simply.

"That easy?" said Dean ruefully and Toby grinned.

"Now I don't recall saying it'll be easy. But seems to me like you've dealt with worse and survived. You boys are fighters." he said and Dean ducked his head, blushing at the proud look on Toby's face when he said that.

He sighed. "When you put it like that." he said and Toby grinned, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Atta boy. Now do me a favour and hand me that knife would you? I'm almost done here."

Dean handed him the knife and watched as Toby expertly sharpened it, loosing himself in the rhythmic movements as he mulled over what they'd just discussed.

Inside Sam had finally managed to pull himself together and was wiping his eyes with yet another handkerchief Jean had magically produced from somewhere. He looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this." he said and Jean shook her head.

"Now you've got nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? Most folks I know would have gone to pieces trying to deal with something like this. You've got nothing to be ashamed of." she scolded gently.

Sam smiled, appreciating the understanding. He was still glad Dean hadn't seen him like that though.

"What are we supposed to do?" he said, unknowingly echoing Dean's question to Toby. Jean thought about it.

"Seems to me you just need to keep doing what you are doing. Working on a way to fix this, being there for each other. Making the most of your time together. I'm not saying that you're not gonna have many more years of that left – I'll be praying that you do. But truth is none of us know how long we've got. The trick is to enjoy every day and that way whatever happens, you won't have any regrets." she said.

Sam sighed. It made sense what she was saying and he'd already known there was no easy answer to all this. He still couldn't help wishing there was a magic wand someone could wave but the reality was they had to deal with this themselves. But he knew Jean was right – he was in danger of becoming so focused on a way out for Dean that he would miss out on all the important stuff. And it was true, even people who weren't facing the dangers they did never knew how long they had.

He smiled at Jean and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

"Didn't you want a hand in the kitchen?" he said and Jean smiled.

"Why yes I did. Come on, I'm sure despite what he said earlier your brother could manage some of my cake." she said and Sam laughed as he followed her out into the kitchen.

Sam looked up as the back door opened and Dean and Toby came in, Dean laughing at something Toby had just said. He was just finishing setting the table while Jean made fresh coffee and sliced up some of her fruit cake to go with the sandwiches she'd insisted on making. If nothing else they would be leaving a pound or two heavier than when they arrived.

Dean glanced over at him and grinned.

"No apron today then, Samantha?" he said and Sam gave a long suffering sigh, ignoring the comment.

"Now, Dean, what have I told you about teasing your brother?" said Jean with mock sternness but Dean just carried on grinning as he passed Sam on his way to the bathroom to wash his hands.

Sam whacked him lightly on the shoulder as he went past but truth was he was pleased to see Dean in a lighter mood. He wondered if he'd been talking to Toby the same way he had to Jean.

Well, maybe not quite the same way, he thought, blushing again as he remembered his mortifying breakdown.

Toby washed his hands at the kitchen sink and exchanged a glance with Jean. She nodded slightly and smiled, and he smiled back looking satisfied.

"Is there anything else I can do?" said Sam and Jean shook her head.

"No thank you, dear. Why don't you sit down? I'm just about done here."

Sam did as he was told and a few minutes later Dean came back in, sitting down next to Sam. He looked at him, noticing the very slight tell-tale redness round Sam's eyes. No one else would probably have spotted it but he did. He frowned and Sam realised he was being scrutinised, blushing again when he saw the frown. He knew Dean had somehow guessed what had happened.

He should have known – he never had been able to get anything past his brother.

He gave a slight shake of his head and smiled to show he was ok. Dean wasn't entirely put off but he could wait until later to talk to Sam about it, when they had a bit more privacy.

At that moment Jean came over, carrying two large plates with the sandwiches and cake on them. Toby followed carrying the coffee pot.

Dean groaned. "I swear I eat one more thing, I won't be able to move." he said.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"He says that now but you watch him manage to find space in a second." he said.

"Hey! You make it sound like I'm always eating." said Dean and Sam grinned.

"I just tell it like I see it, man." he said.

"Boys!" said Jean sternly and they both turned to her, looking like naughty children. She struggled to keep a straight face as they both tried to look innocent. Toby winked at them behind Jean and put the coffee pot down.

"I'm sure the both of you can manage a sandwich or two, isn't that right?" he said, amused. They both grinned.

"We'll do our best." said Dean and Sam nodded.

Half an hour later they had indeed both managed to polish off some sandwiches and a slice of cake each. Jean once again refused their offer to help clear up and instead shooed them outside to enjoy the warm evening.

The sun had long since set but the sky was still pale blue in places, darkening into a deep blue through which hundreds of stars were beginning to shine. It was cool but not cold and as they sat down Dean took a deep breath, relaxing as he looked up at the twinkling sky. They sat there in silence for a moment, listening to the sounds of the garden and the woods that surrounded the house, and the quiet murmur of Jean and Toby as they talked in the kitchen.

"So, are you ok?" said Dean quietly and Sam jumped a little. He glanced over at his brother and saw Dean's gaze was still fixed on the sky but he knew regardless of that he had his full attention.

"Yeah, I'm ok." he said and found that for the first time since Cold Oak he actually meant it.

Dean heard the truth of the statement and figured that if Sam wanted to keep what happened earlier to himself then he could live with that. As long as whatever it was had helped, which appeared to be the case.

"What about you?"

Dean did glance at him now and flashed him the trademark Dean Winchester grin.

"You know me, Sam – I'm always ok." he said and Sam's expression told him exactly how much he believed that statement.

He held his hand up, forestalling any comment.

"I'm serious, Dude – I'm ok. Really."

Sam studied him for a minute before nodding, seemingly satisfied with what he saw in Dean's face.

"Ok. Guess it was a good idea, dropping by." he said and Dean leant his head back again, now he wasn't being scrutinised.

"Yeah, it was. We should try and keep in touch better. Maybe call now and then." he said.

Neither of them voiced the fact that they didn't have that many people to keep in touch with these days. In fact the list was just four people and that included Jean and Toby. But it was better than nothing and there was something about knowing this place was here, that could come to take time out and gather themselves whenever they needed to, that they would always be welcome, that warmed both of them.

And it meant even more now they didn't have to hide what they did.

Sam knew Dean wouldn't be up for an in-depth discussion about what had happened or what was to come, but he wanted to say something. Taking advantage of Dean's relaxed mood he took a deep breath and went for it.

"There's something I wanna say, while we're here, so just listen for a second ok? I'm not gonna go over the whole thing about how I'm gonna get you out of this deal, because we've already done that. I meant what I said and I know you're worried about me failing and how I'm gonna cope with that, but it's not gonna be an issue. Because I won't fail – just like you didn't fail to save me. But I do wanna say this. I don't wanna waste the next year, Dean. Not because it's gonna be your last but because none of us know when our time might be up. With what we do, we know that better than anyone. We wasted so much time already, especially when I was at Stanford, and I don't wanna waste anymore. What we do next, how we deal with all this, that doesn't matter. What matters is that we do it together."

Dean looked at him and swallowed. Credit where it was due, he'd been expecting something much more Oprah than this and he appreciated the fact Sam knew him well enough to know how far he could take it. And what he'd said did make sense. Dean wasn't sure he could bring himself to believe completely that Sam would save him – he just couldn't risk getting his hopes up that much only to have to face the reality when the time came – but he did believe Sam would do everything possible and that was enough. In fact it meant more to Dean than he was ever going to admit, just how determined his brother was.

"_You're my big brother. There is NOTHING I wouldn't do for you." _

Those words had stayed with him and he had a feeling they always would, however long always might be. After everything that happened – the distance between them when Sam had left to forge his own path, the words the Yellow Eyed Demon had spoken in the cabin about how little his family needed him. Those words, spoken so matter of factly by Sam, washed away all of that.

But he was right. They couldn't spend each day worrying about what may or may not happen in the future. He'd done that from the moment John had whispered in his ear what might happen with Sam one day, and he knew he couldn't live another year like that one. And whether this was to be his last year or not, it made sense to appreciate every moment of it. Because you really did never know what was around the corner. Especially when you were a Winchester.

"Alright." he said and Sam blinked at him then shook his head. It was typical. He would always make a heartfelt speech, using the best words he could think of to get his point across, and his brother would always respond with a one word answer and a look that said the girly discussion was over.

He briefly found himself wondering what Oprah or Dr Phil would ever do if confronted with Dean Winchester and his ability to narrow everything down to a single word and a look.

Dean saw the exasperated expression and raised his eyebrows.

"What? I agreed with you, Sam." he said.

"Yeah, I know." said Sam and now the exasperation seemed to have turned to fond amusement. Dean shifted and went back to looking at the sky. Sometimes he really didn't understand how that brain of Sam's worked.

They sat out there for a while, until the sky was completely dark and the air had taken on a distinct chill. They didn't have anything to say and they just enjoyed watching the stars in companionable silence. When Dean yawned Sam made the first move, getting up and suggesting they turn in for the night. Dean pointed out that the days Sam was so keen to make the most of would be pretty short if he was gonna start fussing and trying to take control. Sam just replied that it wouldn't hurt Dean to actually listen to him for a change and quit being so stubborn.

Dean muttered under his breath but did as he was asked anyway and Sam made sure to hide his grin as Dean walked past him to go inside.

Jean and Toby were just going to bed themselves. Jean had been keeping a discreet eye on them and had been pleased to see how relaxed they looked sitting outside. She knew they'd be back on the road in the morning and although she wished they could stay longer, she now knew they had a job to do and that they wouldn't allow themselves to put that off.

She really was very proud to know these boys.

Both of them were asleep within minutes despite the time they'd spent sleeping earlier. Sam woke first the next morning and showered quietly. He went downstairs and found Toby sitting at the table, coffee already made and a paper in his hand.

"Mornin' Sam." he said, pouring him a cup as he sat down.

"Morning." said Sam, wrapping his hands round the warm mug and appreciating the aroma of real coffee.

"Dean still asleep?"

"I think I heard him get up as I came down." said Sam, taking his first sip.

Toby nodded. "I take it you'll be wanting to get back on the road after breakfast?" he said and Sam looked apologetic.

"Yeah. I wish we could stay longer but we've got work to do." he said.

"I understand. Just you remember you can come back here anytime you need to. Don't go waiting for an invitation, cos you boys don't need one. You understand?" he said and Sam nodded, touched.

"And if ever you need anything you just call. I meant it. I can't rightly say we'd know how to help with what you two deal with, but we'll always do whatever we can."

"Thanks. We really appreciate that. And thank you for not freaking out with what we told you. That means a lot." said Sam and Toby just waved his hand.

"You told us the truth, that's all. Ain't nothing difficult about accepting the truth. We should be thanking you – I know it can't be easy, knowing who to trust. But we won't ever give you cause to regret giving that trust, that I can promise." he said seriously.

Sam smiled. "We already know that." he said, knowing he meant it.

Toby nodded, satisfied, and at that moment Dean came in. Sam noticed how much better he looked and he was grateful how much difference just 24 hours spent with Jean and Toby could make. He knew he looked and felt much better himself – they'd both really needed this.

"Morning." said Dean, clapping Sam on the shoulder as he sat down next to him. Toby filled his mug with the last of the coffee and got up to make some more.

"You sleep ok?" said Sam and Dean nodded.

"Hell yeah. I swear if all motels had those beds I'd be a happy man." he said, but they both knew it had nothing to do with the beds really and everything to do with the location.

Before he could reply Jean joined them. She quickly set to making them breakfast and despite what they'd said the night before, they both found they were more than able to finish every last bite. They chatted about ordinary things, having said everything they needed or wanted to say about hunting and deals the day before. When they were done they insisted on clearing up this time, Dean daring Sam to make any kind of comment as he washed while Sam dried.

Sam just smirked and stored up the mental image for ammunition at a later date.

Preferably when there were no weapons in reach.

Once they were done they reluctantly agreed they really did need to get back on the road. Dean grabbed their bags while Jean handed Sam enough packages of food to keep them going for the next week. Dean's eyes lit up as usual when he saw them and Jean laughed as he kissed her on the cheek and asked if she'd made any food for Sam.

They loaded up the Impala and then it was time to say goodbye again. Jean steeled herself, determined she wouldn't make it harder for them. She held both of them tightly though and when she stood back her eyes were glistening despite her best efforts.

"Now, don't you leave it as long this time, you hear? You've got our number so I expect a phone call now and then alright?" she said.

Dean grinned. "We promise." he said and she managed a watery smile.

"And you let your brother take care of you sometimes, you understand? You're not doing this on your own, Dean." she said, and he knew she was including herself and Toby in that statement.

He swallowed. "I understand – I'll do my best." he said and Jean nodded.

As Dean walked round the other side to shake hands with Toby, Jean leant in and spoke so only Sam could hear her.

"You give me a call if you ever need to talk – doesn't matter when or where. You know where I'll be." she whispered and Sam nodded gratefully.

"I will." he whispered back.

Toby took Dean's hand in a firm grip, holding on to it for a second.

"You take care of yourself, you hear? And don't forget what I said."

"I won't. Thanks, for everything." said Dean and Toby clapped him on the shoulder.

Sam had walked round to join them and he too shook Toby's hand now.

"Sam. You look after yourself too, and keep an eye on this one." he said, indicating Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes but Sam nodded and although he was grinning the "Yes, sir." that he gave was completely serious.

Knowing they couldn't put it off any longer they got into the car. Toby and Jean stepped back and Dean turned on the engine, turning her round so she was facing the driveway. They both wound their windows down and stuck their heads out to wave at the old couple one more time.

Jean and Toby stood there waving back until the tail lights of the Impala disappeared completely. Jean sighed and Toby put his arm round her shoulders, squeezing gently.

"They'll be ok. They'll take care of each other." he said and Jean sighed.

"I know. I just wish there was more we could do."

As they turned and went back into the house she smiled suddenly.

"We'll invite them for Thanksgiving. That's only six months away and we can introduce them to everyone else." she said, happy with the plans that were forming in her mind already.

"Sounds good to me." said Toby. He glanced back in the direction Dean and Sam had just gone one last time as he closed the screen door.

He may not have known them all that long, but he had a feeling the Winchesters were used to beating the odds. They'd do it again – he was practically certain of that. Because when even death couldn't break the bond they had, he was damn sure nothing else could.

He smiled to himself. They'd be seeing the boys again of that he had no doubt. And until then? They'd keep them in their prayers and in their hearts.

Because that's what family did.


End file.
